Thursday, October 25, 2007

Rant-Vent-B*&ch!

I don't normally do this, but just can not stop myself this time.If I do my head my explode. I may end up deleting this in the near future. This is not directed at anyone who reads this blog directly so if you see yourself in these, please don't take it personally. Heck, most of you aren't even in this state, let alone the same city. So how could I mean you?

1) If you feel you must drench yourself in overpowering perfume, please do not be offended if I take a step away from you. You may be leaving the store soon, but the fumes ...and my headache ...will linger.

2) If you must hack and cough during your visit in the store during cold and flu season, don't be offended if I take a step away from you. Assuring me that you are not contagious as it's "just a smokers cough" doesn't do it for me either. I've been there, and I know that one. It just might not be your cough I'm stepping away from either.

3) Please note that if your darling pooch relieves itself in the store, you are expected to clean it up. Claiming that it couldn't possibly be your dog doesn't cut it. Especially if your pooch has been the only one in the store for the last hour. And telling me that you know they are suppose to be on a leash but that you're only human and that's why you forgot doesn't cut it either!

4)Standing at the cash register, holding up a busy line of customers while you discuss the ins and outs of little Tommy's potty training is just plain rude. Hang up and pay.

5) You lose your right to complain about identity theft if you stand in a crowded store and recite your bank account number, your social security number and any other personal information. You're just plain asking for it at that point.

6) Don't ask me what I would do, buy or recommend if you are not going to listen. I'm not saying you have to do, buy or follow my recommendations. I'm just saying I don't want to argue with you. Nuf said.

7) If I ask you "Can I help you find something?" I do not mean, "Tell me your life story, oh and don't leave out the gory parts!" I mean just that. "Can I help you find something?"

8) I do NOT want to hear about your political beliefs. Nor do I want to hear you rant about the "state of things."

9) Saying "sorry" when you don't mean it doesn't make it better. In fact it's rude.

10) If you don't know what you want or why you came to the store......don't expect me to know either. I've got enough problems thinking for myself. I darn well can't think for you too.

11) Just because you are on the other side of the counter, don't think you're better than me. I just may know a thing or two. Such as how to charge you extra for being an insufferable prig. So. Watch. It. Mister.

12) Asking me the same question 4 times in a row only encourages me to make up 4 random answers, one of which could be right.

I'm sure there was much more I thought of on the way home, but I'm feeling much better now, so I'll let it go. Whew!

I may still delete this....not sure though.

7 comments:

Don Bangert said...

hahahahhaha!!! I love it! The retailer's manifesto!

aksunflour said...

LOL! Love the 4 random answers!
And not only do these apply to retailers but to almost everyone in the service industry.

Taueret said...

ha!! You *are* me. I work in a library, so with the exception of the dog relieving itself (!) I get all of that most days. geeze!

Cindy said...

Oh, do not delete your rant. It is amazing to me how many people feel you truly give a rat's ass about their opinions and life stories. There are occasions where there is a sad soul, but for the most part it is self-importance. Oops. Sorry, I'm ranting, too. Still, you hit the nail on the head.

Tracie said...

Ah, April. This reminds me of our talks/rants after work at The-Place-Which-Must-Not-Be-Named. Miss you!

Donna said...

I second that rant. I too work in a library all day, and people think that you are there to wait on them and no one else! What can you do except be a better person yourself (meaning me not you, who is I am sure a great person!)

Anonymous said...

WOW, do you work at the bank like me LOL! DO NOT delete this, as it makes me happy that I am not the only one who deals with people like this!
Maria